In my last post, I wrote that I planned to choose to be an Awesomizer.  I was going to be intentional about being a positive person, one who didn’t complain and someone who chose to find the good in any and all situations. That has been challenging in the past three weeks—ok, to be exact, the past 25 days.

Twenty-five days ago I was notified that my position as an instructional coach was being RIF’d! Reduction in Force is a phrase that put fear in my heart and made my stomach drop to the floor. My position as an instructional coach was being discussed at the next school board meeting as a position that could/would be eliminated for the following year. Seriously? I knew that we were facing a budget crisis, but MY position? Me? What did this mean? What would happen to me? Where would I be next year? So many questions rolled through my mind and just as many emotions washed over me on a continuous basis.

The primary focus of my job is to work with new teachers —those that are new to the profession and those that have previous experience, yet are new to our district. I LOVE my job! I love going to work every day! I enjoy watching my new teachers teach. It’s amazing to watch them improve their craft significantly in such a short time. I feel like a proud parent! I am inspired when meeting with them to discuss the progress they are making, co-planning instructional strategies they plan to implement, or deciding which curricular area(s) they want as their focus. It also makes my day when they share the highlights and frustrations of their week and can reflect on what they did (or didn’t do) to influence those highs and lows. I won’t have the opportunity to do this next year, and that makes me sad. I won’t be able to support them as they struggle, nor celebrate with them when they experience successes, and that makes me sad. I’m grieving the loss of my position, yet I NEED to choose to be an Awesomizer. It will only bring me (and others I’m around) down if I’m an Awfulizer and it doesn’t change the situation—it only makes me feel worse!

However, the emotional highs and lows have lessened, and my questions have been answered since the decision was reached to place me in the position of an elementary Title 1 Math teacher for next year. Whew, what a relief! I have intentionally chosen to reinforce my Awesomizer attitude. I still have four months of awesome meetings and classroom visits. I still have four months of opportunities to have a positive influence on these teachers! I intend to remember every day that I am an instructional leader, and although I won’t be an instructional coach next year, I WILL find ways to continue to be a positive influence on colleagues and students.